Recently I have been talking more about loss, the feelings of grief and the impacts on leadership.
Partially my story of Thriving while Grieving is being re-released in another Chicken Soup for the Soul and secondly, I’m writing a book on this topic.
The feelings that occur after a loss, be it a loved one/job/relationship, are the same for all of us. We experience feelings that range traditionally grief, anger, depression, acceptance, bargaining, and i feel that guilt and shame are a part of the emotions too.
I’m not an expert on the subject. I do know how these transitions impact our leadership style and leader. I have come to know this through personal experience and through thousands of coaching hours on this topic.
Recently one of the topics I have been pondering is the loss of a sibling and how that impacts my leadership.
As I have mentioned before, my brother transitioned into his next life a few years ago. It has been quite a process but opened me up to much learning over the years. One of the ways it has impacted me is through the feelings of loneliness. Having a sibling who you can talk to and who understands you at a core level is a treasured element of the relationship with a sibling. Growing up in a South Asian family, we were told our cousins were our siblings and I’m fortunate they are. Even with the depth of those relationships, there are nuances only a sibling would know especially when it comes to your relationship with your parents.
Having gone from having a sibling to now being an only child, I know I don’t understand the depths of being an only child since I grew up with someone but now there are times when it would be nice to have a sibling by your side who can enjoy the experiences genuinely.
The challenge in this space is:
1. We can not impose on others as to what we want the relationship to be. If we need something else from relationships both personally and professionally that needs to be communicated.
2. It is important to remember that as a leader, the feelings we experience on our personal life will transcend into the professional so there is a level of discernment and awareness that needs to happen and be there.
3. The feelings that need to be felt need to be felt. Allow them to arise and allow yourself the emotions. There is nothing wrong with you for allowing you to feel things. It is when the feelings are suppressed and others can’t understand why they can’t connect with you is when we really need to go within and seek the support needed at that time.
4. When someone is going through their own transition, find out what they need and if they don’t know the answer then give them love. They are missing the connection and love of something/someone so allow them to feel that in different ways.
5. Be present for them when they can’t be present for themselves.
PS. If transition/grief is impacting your professional life, please reach out for a complimentary coaching consultation to discuss opportunities that exist to support you.